I will officially be married April 3. It is an exciting time. There is so much still that will have to be done. I stare at the mailbox and it less than 90 days there will only be one last name on it. Growing up I was wild and did not believe I would ever be settling down. I didn't want kids until I was 30. I am 27 and the father of 3. I've had failed relationships that led me to this relationship and made me realize many important things. These words were just from an old song. I have not heard the complete song in years but they make sense now. "You don't have to be flawless, you already mean the world to me." I was not mature enough when I was 23 to make love work and last. I was always scared after I had been with someone for a few years and wanted out. This April instead of running away I am asking her to stay. Forever. I use to dream of past days in my sleep and it often made me wonder if something was wrong. I did not want to remember those days like I was. Whether good or bad. So I prayed to God to please take them away from me. I told him that I was ready to let them go. And the dreams have stopped. I have been able to move forward with my life now. I feel confident about my relations with Keyla. They continue to get stronger as time passes. My sweet lord how you have blessed me. I remember right before Russel passed away he asked me to take my time with Keyla. And I remember I told him that she was the girl that I was going to marry. And look these years later we are getting married. I pray that he looks down on us on April 3 and smiles. I am happy that Otto is going to be my best man. All these years. He is still the best pal I could possibly have. The people in my life these days are the best.
I have come to a place in my life where there is peace. I can spend time alone and listen to the sounds of the world and enjoy them for their beauty. The brilliance that was created. My sweet lord I am so thankful that I have such a wonderful family and friends. I could not have done this on my own. When I came to you in my college days in Our Lady's Chapel I was lost. I did not know what to do. And I continued to pray to you the same prayer everyday. I pleaded with you to put me on the path that you needed me to be on and I would go with you. I would endure whatever I had to. I told you that I could not do it on my own. I had pain in my life that I could not recover from on my own. And it took me time. Oh my sweet lord how I loved her and was lost. And you sat with me patiently until I could stand on my own two feet again. You carried my heart gently along until I was able to love truly again. You worked with me until I was ready to move forward. And here we are. My sweet lord I adore you, I thank you for all that you have granted me these last years.
- Flawless (All The World to Me)