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A quiet beach
rudeboyjesse
This trip to Hermosa Beach has felt different. The world seems so quiet. So different. I feel like I am away from home when this place normally feels like home. Maybe this isn't the escape that it use to be. I stepped down from the worship band a couple of weeks back to focus on the things I need to. I am still sorting things out. Playing music for God was an absolute joy. Just not sure that Crossroads was the right one for me to fully engage in what the mission truly was. I want to continue to grow in my walk with Jesus. I am like every other Christian and have battles. I know what I must do. It is so plainly laid out for me. There are things that are still changing in me. God has blessed my life so incredibly. I see it every morning when I wake up. When I pray. There are so many things that I took for granted. Even now, I am seeing old friendships mend and that brings me incredible happiness. To be under a hood with Ryan was a lot of fun. We didn't fix yet what needs to be finished but I think we certainly have begun to repair our friendship. Joey and I share the more through fatherhood. Otto is marrying Jennifer this year. We are all growing into good men. Otto and I share a love for Christ and I love to go to service with him in Dallas at his CrossRoads.

I continue to thank God for allowing me to live an incredible life. I have been able to accomplish so many things. I have marked so many items off the list that I wanted to do. I will be 30 this year and I am ready to embark on this next chapter of my life. Keyla is working as a nurse and everything is falling into place. She is amazing. I watched her give the heimlich manuever to our daughter Dominae about a month back and she saved her life. It was an amazing moment. God has brought my life somewhere completely different than where I ever expected. I learned so many lessons. I think the greatest was humility. And that you can be wrong. You can say that you are sorry. You can mean it.....you can move on. He has so many other things for you to accomplish in this life. God never left my side. All those years I walked in shadows. He is the only thing that I focus on. That I bring honor to him.

I loved finding Jesus in Our Lady's Chapel at Incarnate Word. I am so glad that I was blessed with Keyla. She helped me grow more than I could ever imagine. I know what I missed and was missing in every other attempt in finding someone in my past. It was God. He is first in my marriage. And that is how it should be. God continues to bless my marriage, family, and life in so many ways. I don't mind what people think much anymore. I know where I want to be. I am stoked to be where I am. I can't worry about old days anymore.

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